Gabe's brought his new boyfriend Elijah home for the holidays, to his amazingly loving and supportive family. It hasn't been so easy for Elijah and his own family though; he can hardly bring himself to talk about them at all...The rest of the evening went without much fanfare. Gabe didn't let Elijah feel bad about things. He gave him a smile and a hand on the back when he sat down and Elijah seemed to let go of the tension he'd been holding. The group chatted together for a bit, eating the two pies, fruit and cookies Nate had spent all day baking. Gabe was doing a good job of pretending he wasn't ready to have a big discussion with Elijah, one that might possibly end their relationship; instead he just smiled and joked along with everyone else.
“I'm not going to say anything bad about Elijah.” Nate's voice broke through Gabe's thoughts as he dumped the rest of the cranberries into a container. “I genuinely like the guy and I think you two are good for each other.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Nate hovered over Gabe's left shoulder, but he didn't make an attempt to get Gabe to look at him. “I was awake in the car, when you two were talking. I heard him talk about his family, I listened to the sound of his voice; clearly something wasn't right there. I think he's really hurt but doesn't want anyone to see it.”
Gabe didn't say anything. He could tell Elijah was bothered by talking about his family. He had no idea what he'd have done if his family didn't accept him. They were his life and without them he didn't know where he’d be or what he'd have done. From the way Elijah talked about it, it seemed like he didn't have a good childhood from the start.
“Remember when your Dad died?”
Gabe nearly dropped the container when Nate said that. He didn't like to just think about it like that. It reminded him too much of what happened, reminded him too much of that feeling when Lis called him to tell him Dad had a heart attack and died before the ambulance even arrived. It was just so sudden, he'd been so well and fit... it just...happened. Throwing it out there like that, it made Gabe's stomach drop in the same exact way.
“Yeah,” he replied his voice slightly cracking.
“You didn't want to talk about him afterward. It took forever for you to open up about it, even to me and the rest of your family. Hell, I know you're still unsure about it now. I saw the way you tensed up when I said it. I think that's what happening with Elijah, I think every time he thinks about it... it's like living it all over again. I'm not saying he shouldn't have said anything to you, kept it a secret... but I don't think he's capable of just talking about it.”
“He could have said something,” Gabe said softly. “I want to help him.”
“I think you are, Gabe.” Nate placed his on his shoulder. “I think by just being there for him, you're doing everything you can.”
He took a deep breath, finished putting the cranberries in the container and then turned and hugged Nate. “Thanks. I'm going to talk to him tonight, level with him and just... well, we'll see.”
Nate hugged him tightly for a moment, before letting go and walking over to the oven. “How about we bring out dessert? I'd be nervous about the time Lis is left alone with Lij.”
Gabe cracked a smile before grabbing one of the fruit bowls and following Nate out the door.
Some time after all the plates had been cleared away, Gabe stood up and yawned, stretching his arms above his head. “Well, I'm going to get to bed. I promised Elijah I'd take him sight seeing tomorrow.”
Elijah stood up besides him, placing his hand on the same of his back. “I'm tired too, so I'll head up as well. Thank you Amelia, Lis, Nate; dinner was fantastic.”
Everyone said their good nights; Nate informed both of them he would not take part in any sight seeing as he was planning on sleeping until at least noon tomorrow. Both Lis and Amelia kissed Gabe and then Elijah on the cheek as a goodnight. Gabe watched Elijah's face, but he didn't seem to find it annoying. He just politely smiled and thanked them again before heading up the stairs with Gabe.
They were already familiar with each other’s nightly routines, standing in the bathroom side by side as they brushed their respective teeth. They undressed down to their boxers in silence, then both climbed into the full size bed Gabe had since he was a teenager. He'd never actually had a boy spend the night in his bed when he lived in the house and having Elijah there was giving him a thrill he couldn't help but to grin at. As much as he wanted to fool around though, he also really needed to talk about what happened.
When Elijah went to turn off the bedside light, Gabe reached out and stopped him. “Can we talk for a minute?”
“Yeah,” Elijah said, leaning back and sitting up better in the bed. They were side by side but not touching at all. “I figured this was coming.”
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't do this here but I feel like I'm going to make this suck even more tomorrow if I just don't get it off my chest.”
Elijah nodded, looking down at his hands. Gabe reached over and grabbed his chin lightly, turning his face. “Look at me, please?” Elijah obeyed, looking up at Gabe. “I don't hate you, I'm not really even all that mad at you right now. I just... I want to know you, Elijah. I want to know everything about you, good or bad. Secrets, yeah I know you have them, I mean I do too but...” Gabe took a deep breath, unsure of where to go next. He reached down and grabbed Elijah's hand in his. “I care about you a lot. I just want to know the person that I'm living with, the person that I'm sleeping with.”
Elijah squeezed his hand tightly, eyes still locked with Gabe's. “I shouldn't have kept that from you. I really didn't think about it. My family... it's difficult, I can't just sit here and tell you every little thing that happened. It doesn't work that way, Gabe. It's not just two or three things, it's my life that happened. I want you to know me; I think you know me pretty damn well, actually.”
Gabe sighed deeply; he knew deep down Elijah wasn't trying to hurt him. He remembered the conversation he had with Annabel, so long ago, she told him this sort of thing would happen. That sometimes Elijah just didn't realize what's going on until it's too late.
“I know,” Gabe started again, rubbing his thumb back and forth on the back of Elijah's hand, something he did quiet often. “I know you're trying and I appreciate it but.. I just hate those kinds of surprises, okay? Maybe, if you think of something or... if you remember something, you'll tell me? Even if it's stupid, some stupid childhood memory... just let me know. Can we just promise there will be no more big secrets between each other?”
He knew he was going out on a limb asking this of Elijah, he didn't know if he'd give in or if he'd turn away. But Elijah didn't move at first, sat there staring at Gabe. He tried to read the look in his eyes but there was something hidden that he couldn't read in the staring eyes across from him. He was just about to say something else when Elijah squeezed his hand again and he could hear his sharp intake of breath.
“No more big secrets, I promise. If there's something you want to know, you can ask. And I'll tell you important things, when I remember them,” he said with a laugh to his voice. “You know I don't want to hurt you; it's the least thing I'd ever want to do.”
“Good,” Gabe replied confidently, “I'm glad we could talk about this. I didn't want things hanging over our heads tomorrow and then on the way home.”
Elijah reached over and kissed him softly on the lips. Gabe couldn't help but to grin and open his mouth, allowing Elijah to bite at his top lip. He let go of Elijah's hand and pulled away before Elijah got a chance to kiss him again.
“What?” Elijah asked, his eyebrow furrowing slightly, looking confused.
“I want to do something,” Gabe replied, feeling a little risky and suddenly very horny. He pushed Elijah back against the headboard and straddled his hips in one quick motion. “All you have to do is sit back and enjoy.”
The grin on Elijah's face was so infectious and dirty it almost made him shiver. “Are you sure? Your family is just a room away.”
“Then you're going to have to be very quiet then.”
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