say, and I just play the part he assigns. It’s also quite a bit of fun to figure out which one of the
characters is the most him, the one he’s ‘wearing’.
One of the ones I remember most strongly from right before I began to have my own dreams is
where I was all by myself except that there were two of me, mother me and baby me. I had fun
She grew off me like a bud grows off a cactus plant, inflating and developing cute wee eyes and
arms and legs and a fluffy mop of poly hair just like mine! And when she was all done
developing she detached and bobbed along next to me so I felt as if I would never want to tag
along after Rufus again, just because of not having anything better to do with myself any way.
Mini me and I could play too!
You could say that up until this point I was like the baby Heidi there, a developing wen, and
dependent on Rufus for all I had to learn. And I did follow him everywhere like stink on a rose,
as he put it in his thoughts. Even on his dates.
He was close over the years to a few of them especially. Rufus would not be owned, but when it
came to those he bestowed himself on he was possessive. He insisted on keeping them as friends,
if not as an international harem. He had girls all over the world by the time I was individuating.
Rufus’ dream this time. Not a tagalong, a secret fluffer and twiddler of his nut sack while he let
those others try to win him back. I was fully me and equal to any of those females, and I drove a
car through the dream city just like a grown adult human, and I had my baby girl Heidi junior
I liked it. My face was nearly folded in half by my urge to smile.
Heidikins was chatting away about school; she was in school already when I’d just seen her
budding off me this very night! My offspring was a prodigy, obviously. Her little quandary was
that she was starting to share dreams with her school friends. The friends she mentioned were
nice girls and boys, so I was able to calm her worries. Does this sound applicable to my life as
Heidi herself? Oh yes! I did worry about the big astral ocean and whether it was safe to be
separate and alone. Here I was telling myself it was fine.
We had another problem though. We had no home, only this car. I was circling around the block
with it to avoid being ticketed. Suddenly I remembered that in this dream city I had the key to an
apartment which was not mine, but belonged to another who spent all their time elsewhere. Little
Heidi and I could use a drink and a wash. I took us there.
This apartment is a strange sort of category of place. Rufus never bothers to keep a permanent
home base in his dreams because he’s fully aware that everywhere he goes is already his. It’s
different to be merely one of his guests here. Unlike many of the places where I’d ‘lived’ or been
a dream resident, I had no particular excuse for being here. It had evolved from a tiny slot
between other slots in a dormitory with private bath, to a multi-level complex of studios and
suites with its own inner courtyard, over the years when first Rufus and I, now only I and I,
dropped in. It’s always almost completely bare. Its official owner and I have never met, but of
course it’s got to be Rufus in one of his guises.
So the sprig and I nosed our way in through the door, because the key still fitted. As I wandered
through its greatly expanded areas making sure we aren’t intruding on anything, I heard little
Heidi say, Mom, mom—oh that sounded nice!—THERE’S A BED! She showed me. It was in a
tumble as if it’d been slept in and would be again. Obviously somebody was going to be here
soon. We would meet at last.
while I wandered further, searching for clues to the nature of our host.
There is a balcony from the upper level fronting on the central courtyard. I can see all sorts of
apartments similar to this one, and plenty of new sets of stairs leading down to the cobbles. Yet
this is all part of the same home! It was huge now. I started back to the living room, which now
had developed hanging creepers in pots along a ceiling crossbeam since I last went through.
Down a corridor I saw someone’s legs. As I stepped closer I saw belly and crotch, in trousers. I
was not putting the pieces together yet, but they were an obvious clue!
Little Heidi comes in and bravely clutching her to me like a stuffed bear I strode forward to
introduce myself. I acted like what Rufus refers to as Shirley Temple Black. It’s dignified
enough to override the cute and ridiculous. I have to do this, because unlike most humans, I am
always nude. It’s my default state.
I put out my hand, wishing the thumb stuck out more, and said hello, are you the owner of this
He spun around and of course it was Rufus, it always is, only fat and middle aged but ruggedly
handsome in tweeds, as he had been previously sometimes to play a salesman. His fiery hair was
now ginger-brown and only to his shoulders like a professor’s. He’d given himself a plummy
accent, but sounded quite sincere as he exclaimed Ah thank goodness you are finally here! No,
I’m not the owner either; but allow me to introduce you to some of our fellow tenants—
It was the band, and the roadies, and their accountant, and the manager, and the sound guys, but
they were all old! I nodded and blinked, and held baby Heidi to my chest as if she could be an
excuse for something, and she held onto me shyly and if she had fingers she would’ve sucked
them. I didn’t have to do more than the nods and pleased to meet you’s and so on, thank
goodness. Now pop along to wardrobe and we’ll see you downstairs, okay? he said, and bustled
me back in toward the bathroom.
He shut the door on us and sure enough, clothing was on a hanger for me.
It was demure, and powder blue like the wear on my rubbery eyes. There were even slippers like
ballet slippers, and they were small enough. I was now quite civilized looking, I hoped. Little
Heidi was fetching in a jumper of fuzzy golden brown.
shop, but all the price tags said sixty-nine. I know that has got to be a Rufus joke.
We bumped our way through some of the bigger mechanical things for sale and arrived next to
the other persons in the yard. There were three of them and they seemed to be negotiating; was it
a purchase? No, it turned out they were discussing the details of the filming of a commercial for
something, right on that very spot. The camera was already on them, a man and a woman, and it
caught us Heidis in the background. My eyes began reacting rather a lot, puffing out as they do,
to something that the male cast member said.
Suddenly there was a shout and pointing finger, directed at us. Hey, you aren’t in continuity!
yelled the directing type guy.
But the two acting types, the man and woman, pulled me close between them, their arms hooked
through mine. The luscious auburn haired female with the full breasts sheathed in dark cashmere
turned and ordered, Keep filming, director. It’s in sync.
I recognized the voice. It’s Rufy! And the male actor nodded. Though he looked like a willowy
teen with his stringy hair dyed an inky goth black, his hazel eyes belonged to Steen. I began to
inflate and dimple, throwing off the deflating effects of the director’s yelling. And Baby and I
were soon ensconced between them on the front seat of a pickup truck, making some sort of
Stay cool, Rufus whispered in my mind. We’re in Every Which Way But Loose. This must be a
story he knows and I don’t. I was just glad to be included. However baby Heidi was getting
increasingly hard to handle, determined to wriggle away from where we are. I couldn’t let her be
on her own yet! So we bowed out the usual way, by shrinking into a dot, leaving the other dream
folk to their fun.
I was quite sad when I arrived back in the between to find that I don’t have a baby me, really.
But I was also relieved because the baby me cannot get into trouble if she doesn’t exist, now can
And I am not about to go far from the band. Rufus indicated that he wants me to hang with them,
by putting me in the same category. Why, I do believe he started dreaming of Virgen Steel to
please me sometimes! All in all it seems prudent to continue to tag along, not strike out into the
big universe on my own.